My 5 Year Old Acts Like a Baby

"I'm a flake lost. My older child is ii years and 10 months old. For the past calendar week he's been telling me he's a baby. I acknowledge his comments by playing pretend that he'south a baby, but I'm concerned almost whether I'm doing the right thing. He asks to exist fed (when he has been doing it on his own for a yr), and he wants to be picked upwards all the time. I wonder if jealousy finally kicked in (my younger one is now xviii months sometime and more than song), and he feels displaced by his sis? I admit there's been occasions where I don't play along and tell him in a nice way that he can practise it on his ain considering he's a big boy. How exercise you lot approach this?" – Ana

Hi Ana,

Yes, I think you lot nailed information technology: "I wonder if jealousy finally kicked in (my younger one is now 18 months erstwhile and more vocal), and he feels displaced past his sister?"

The emotional procedure of accepting a new sibling is unique to each child. Some children appear most unnerved during their female parent's pregnancy, peradventure anxious about all the mysterious, impending changes they sense merely for which they have no frame of reference.  These children might even feel relieved when the baby finally arrives and becomes a reality for them.

Other children might be only slightly rattled during the pregnancy and far more uncomfortable after the birth when they experience the sudden shift in their parents' focus. Even so others don't feel the sting of rivalry until their infant sibling hits developmental milestones that brand them seem similar an actual "person" and a greater threat, similar when the baby begins crawling, walking or, every bit in your case, Ana, talking. Specially sensitive children feel waves of discomfort throughout all of the above.

Acting like a baby can serve two principal purposes:

1. Play therapy

Playing out a fantasy of reverting to babyhood is i of the means children process their feelings effectually this major life adjustment, and we can help them by accepting and trusting this behavior (rather than existence concerned, annoyed, or judgmental about it). Information technology is through play that children explore, understand, heal, and gain a sense of command over their feelings around new and uncomfortable experiences. Play therapy also helps children explore the perspectives of others. Through fake kids can try on that person'due south shoes (or booties, in this case), which helps them to understand and empathize with that person's experience. This is also why children sometimes imitate the behaviors and personality traits of their peers or characters from books and movies. If this "make believe" beliefs gets a nervous, negative or uncomfortable reaction from parents, children might be compelled to continue testing that.

2. Concrete nurturing and unconditional acceptance

Infants go a lot of hands-on care, nurturing, and amore, then it'due south understandable that a child who feels unsettled by the addition of a sibling would want to recapture some of that physical honey. It's as well common for young children to act out their uncomfortable feelings through impulsive limit pushing behavior that might be directed at the parents, the infant or both. As challenging as it tin can be for us to empathize with our children in these situations (I share more nearly that Here), our harsher reactions tend to intensify their feelings of hurt and rejection. The unconditional love that the baby is receiving looks very attractive in comparison.

But none of this ways that parents should feel obliged to listen all our children's requests to be fed and carried, etc. Children don't need us to play forth with babyish behaviors then much as fully accept and permit them.

Have

Acceptance stems from trusting that the behavior is serving a salubrious purpose for our child and, therefore, not being judgmental almost it or worrying that he'south losing his abilities to talk, walk or dress himself, etc. Then we don't try to fix the behavior, nor do we coax or shame him to stop it. And because we don't perceive it as a demand or demand we must fulfill, nosotros don't let it become on our nerves.

Set articulate boundaries and trust the feelings

In  your case, Ana, I would not "tell him in a dainty way that he can do it on his ain considering he'due south a big male child." Instead of trying to talk him out of his request, be clear and comfy with asserting your boundaries.

"You want me to pick you upward. I can't right at present, just in a few minutes I'm going to sit on the sofa and I'd beloved to have you lot on my lap." Then if he continues to enquire or becomes upset, you might acknowledge, "Yous really wanted me to carry yous and I said no. That's upsetting." Trust him to express his feelings for equally long equally he needs to in response to your reasonable limits. This is how children heal their pain.

Play along wholeheartedly — or not at all

Children deserve our honesty and clarity. It's unfair and unloving to begrudgingly give in to delight them. Our resentment creates guilt for them and poisons our parent-child relationship. We are the only ones who tin can prevent this from happening, which is why it's so of import to stay tuned in to own needs, wants, and boundaries. So, if nosotros are fully on board and bachelor to spoon feed, carry or play with our child, we should exercise information technology with gusto. If not, we should kindly and conspicuously say no and not judge or resent our kid for asking. Nosotros might answer, "I love feeding you, my infant, but I'm going to take this time to eat my own nutrient along with yous."

Pay undivided attention

There'southward some other reason children acquit like babies as well the two I mention above. It'due south an attention getter. Unfortunately, the attention it normally gets from parents is annoyance and impatience, which is not helpful. So, also perceiving this behavior as healthy and not letting it bother us, we can as well aid alleviate the urgency for it by fulfilling our children's attention needs (which are a lot easier to fill than their 24/seven attending wants). One of the best ways to do that is to put aside all our distractions during caregiving activities like dressing, bathing, diapering (or potty assist), mealtimes and bedtime rituals and exist fully available to our child in those interactions. Nosotros won't be able to do this every time, but nosotros tin can seize these opportunities as all-time nosotros tin can. Our engaged presence while our kid plays, putters or just hangs out with usa is an added bonus.

Ana, I hope this answers your questions and isn't way more than you wanted to know.

I share more nigh being confident leaders and setting limits with empathy in

No Bad Kids: Toddler Bailiwick Without Shame.

Originally published past Janet Lansbury on March 17, 2017

thompsonbeivearat.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.janetlansbury.com/2017/03/my-child-is-acting-like-a-baby/

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